I don’t know what you’re talking about

Have you ever royally put your foot in your mouth? Like got it stuck in there so bad that you just had to hop around on one foot for a while? I have. Dozens of times. So did many characters in the Bible, but the main offender is Jesus’ apprentice, Peter.

Peter’s given name was Simon. Jesus renamed him “Peter”, which means “rock” in the original language. Right from the start, Jesus identified Peter as someone who would be steady, trustworthy, and able to lead people. Would be. That part is important. Nobody really starts out as having already arrived when they meet Jesus. We’re all in process, but the good news is that Jesus can see beyond today. He begins with the end in mind. So, Peter, the rock.

A couple of weeks ago, I invited you to find yourself in the Biblical story. We looked at Moses’ early days as a leader of a nation. The one where he looked God straight in the burning bush and said, “Please send someone else”. Which still gets me every single time I think about it. Today, we’re going to take a look at Peter who, for all his later rock-like qualities, was about as squishy as one of those little sensory toys when things got really difficult in his apprenticeship to Jesus.

For three years, Peter spent all of his time with Jesus. They ate together. Slept under the same roof. Celebrated together. Worked together. Laughed and cried together. Peter saw Jesus do some amazing things: heal sick people, turn water into wine, raise people from the dead, etc. Peter heard Jesus silence religious authorities when they tried to trap him in a rhetorical game. Peter, after all this and more, declared that Jesus was who he said he was: the Son of God who takes away the sin of the world.

Jesus had been giving his disciples more and more authority and opportunity to test what they were learning from him. They’d been on some trips without Jesus and performed miracles. After three years, they were ready to go out and make disciples of their own. Peter and the others had to be feeling pretty good not only about following Jesus, but about being able to do as he did.

So, a couple days before his murder, when Jesus told them that they would all “fall away” from him, Peter declared that he never would, even if everybody else did. 

“I tell you the truth,” Jesus answered, “this very night, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times.” But Peter declared, “Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you.” And all the other disciples said the same. (Matthew 26:34-35)

Peter not only claims that his faith in Jesus is stronger than anybody else’s but he also doubles down: “Even if I have to die with you”. And so do all the others. So, when I discuss Peter’s particular denials in the paragraphs to come, just know that he’s not alone. They were all in this over-inflated sense of loyalty together.

I want to point out some important ways that we can relate to Peter and the other disciples, at this point in the story. If you’ve read Matthew’s account of Jesus’ life, you know what happens next. If you have not, I’m super glad you’re here and I’m about to spoil it for you, so just stop reading and go give her a read, then come back. 

Jesus is about to be betrayed by one of the men who had lived among him and all the others for three years. Then, he’s going to be arrested, falsely convicted, tortured, abused, and murdered. Everything that he stood for and told his disciples is about to, apparently, turn on its head. The man who made blind people see, fed thousands with just one lunch, and, just in case the magnitude missed you the first time, RAISED PEOPLE FROM THE DEAD, is seemingly helpless before the power of the religious authorities and the insecurity of the Romans. It’s like he’s lost all his power or just letting it happen. Which is worse?

I have a question for you. When was the last time Jesus didn’t meet your expectations? When was the last time everything that you thought you knew about God, his word, and his world went absolutely topsy turvy? When was the last time the rubber met the road and you had to put your money where your mouth was when it came to your faith in Jesus?

This is it for Jesus’ disciples. They said that they would die with him. They said they’d never deny him. But I don’t think they saw this coming. I don’t think they believed that the religious leaders would have the last say with Jesus. They’d seen too much. They not only knew, but really believed that they were following the Son of God around. How could he be arrested and convicted on false charges in a questionable courtroom? Much less, how could he be killed? The wages of sin is death, not the wages of righteousness. What was going on?!

I hope that you’ve never felt like this, but I know better. Life is hard, people abuse their power, sickness and death walk around like they own the place, and things that we thought were unshakable fall to the ground. God himself is beyond our understanding and regularly does things that don’t make sense to us.

We say that we will die with him, but when following him gets really tough, when we have to believe in the face of impossible odds, when we have to hold onto hope when it looks like the sun will never rise again, what do we do? I’ll tell you what Peter does.

After Jesus is arrested, Peter follows him at a distance to see how things are going to play out. From all accounts, he does stick with Jesus longer than any other disciple, except for John who stays with him until the bitter end. But, when he’s eavesdropping on Jesus’ trial, a few people recognize him. And Peter, terrified, confused, completely disoriented, says one of the most heartbreaking and relatable things in all of scripture, “I don’t know what you’re talking about”. He follows that up with two more denials to the same group of people just before the rooster crows to signal the breaking of day. Just like Jesus said he would.

What’s wonderful about Jesus is that, even though Peter and the other disciples did not, he saw this coming. When he met Peter, invited him to follow him, and renamed him “the rock”, Jesus knew that this moment was coming. Remember, Jesus sees all the way through until the end. That includes all the messy stuff in the middle.

I’m not going to spend too much time talking about what happens after Jesus rises from the dead and he “reinstates” Peter by telling him three times to lead the church. I love that story and it’s incredibly important, but I think that what comes later in the life of the early church is even more important.

All the disciples, save John, go to their deaths because they refuse to deny the name of Jesus again. John all but goes to his death for the name of Jesus, being exiled to a remote island to live out his days. On this night, when Jesus was arrested, they all fell away and denied knowing him, but never again. Something happened to them.

John records for us how Jesus responded to Peter’s denial (John 21). I have no doubt that he responded to the others in a similar fashion. They were met, in the midst of their worst failure of faith, by the grace and mercy of the one that they denied.

I wonder how it would change your faith in Jesus if you’d let him meet you in the same way? Imagine your worst failures of faith. Imagine the darkest nights when your world was on fire and nothing made sense anymore. Wherever you feel like you’ve failed or fallen or lost heart the most, Jesus wants to meet you there. Not to scold or shame you, but to love you back into faith in him.

I missed this for so long because I had an understanding of Jesus that didn’t include this kind of tenderness. I thought him an imperious, zero tolerance kind of guy. If I failed to have faith in him or believe his word perfectly, then it was my fault when my world fell apart. And he would probably forgive me, but reluctantly. 

Let me say it loud and clear: Jesus Christ does not reluctantly forgive anyone. All his closest friends betrayed him (it wasn’t just Judas, y’all!) at his most critical hour. And he still built his church on their faith. Faith that would never be shaken again because it wasn’t built on the fear of his retribution, but the freedom found in his mercy towards them in their darkest hour.

Who else loves like this? Who else welcomes his enemies and calls them friends? It is only a love like this that can make men who were once so scared that they denied even knowing the Son of God turn into men who would finally go to their deaths for him. 

For me, there’s only one response and it’s the one of Peter, the rock:

Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God. (John 6:68-69)