Outsider

You know who you are.

When I started thinking about burn out, by name, one of the first reasons that came to my mind as to why people of faith are so burnt out is that they are trying to be someone that they never were meant to be. For many of us, this looks like trying to fit into a mold that we weren’t made to fit into. I’ve written about this before, so let me sum up.

When we were younger, we would often be obsessed with the idea of “fitting in”. Depending on the time and place, this could involve clothing, activities, music choices, figures of speech, or forms of entertainment. When I hear others talk about “fitting in”, they generally are speaking about young people, teenagers. “Fitting in” has the connotation of middle school girls ridiculing each other in the bathroom. I wonder if we have picked up on the fact that “fitting in” has left the middle school bathroom and taken up residence in many of our churches and faith-based organizations?

I’ve written about how I desperately wanted to belong to a faith community when I moved to Radford. I’ve written about the requirements for admission into that faith community and how I failed to meet just about every single one of them because, mostly, those requirements weren’t who I am. They were who other people were. I didn’t meet the requirements for admission and I was, thus, on the outside. Allowed to show up and participate, but not fundamentally accepted.

Sociologically speaking, all societies have spoken and unspoken rules about who is in and who is out. Some are quite strict. Ancient societies were so for reasons of survival. Some are looser, but there are still some things that are just “too far” and you’ll be ousted to the fringes. 

Since Christianity is my thing, I’ll speak about the church. Far too many churches have strict rules about who is in and who is out. Some try to base this on Scriptures that have been taken out of context. Some just do some mental gymnastics so that they can “reasonably” avoid interacting with people who are messy or uncomfortable. 

In the first century Jewish landscape, things were no different. In the New Testament, “tax collectors and sinners” are referred to many times as a group of people that good Jews did not hang out with. They were outsiders, along with Samaritans, women, and children, to name a few. But, even a cursory reading of the New Testament will tell you that Jesus treated them like anything but outsiders.

In Matthew 9, Jesus is found in the familiar company of “tax collectors and sinners”. Sharing a meal was a serious business to a first century Jew. Jesus wasn’t just being nice, he was identifying with this group of people and calling them friends.

In John 4, Jesus has a conversation with a Samaritan woman. Not only was it questionable for a man to speak to a woman who he was not related to, but this woman was racially mixed and, we find out, had been married five times (a HUGE no-no in the first century). Samaritans were not purely Jewish and their religious practices were as mixed as their bloodlines. Most first century Jews would go the long way around on journeys to avoid even going through the Samaritan region. Yet Jesus goes there on purpose and speaks with this woman.

In Luke 8, Jesus stops in the middle of an urgent journey to a religious leaders’ house to have a conversation with a woman who touched his clothes. Not only was this, again, a woman, but this woman had been bleeding for twelve years. This made her “unclean” in the first century Jewish world and she was an outcast, unable to associate with the rest of society.

In Matthew 19, Jesus reproves his disciples for trying to keep young children away from him. Much like women in the ancient world, children were treated as less than, outsiders in society, yet Jesus always had time for them.

These are just the first four examples that come to my mind. There are dozens of others. While we know from the accounts of Jesus’ life that he took his Jewish religion and heritage quite seriously, he wasn’t playing around with extra-scriptural ideas about who was in and who was out. In fact, he was turning those ideas on their heads.

I wonder if Jesus’ disciple, Matthew, was burnt out in his first century tax booth and was glad for a shot at literally any other lifestyle? Who knows how he got there- all but a traitor to his native people and completely outcast by the religious system. I wonder if the women who funded Jesus’ ministry and followed him were there because they were tired of being treated like second-class citizens? I wonder if children were so excited to be near Jesus because he had the audacity to treat them like full people, not just half ones?

I wonder if you’re burnt out in your faith because you’re an outsider and the church has made that loud and clear?

I wonder if you’re still following Jesus because you see his heart for outsiders and you know, you have to believe, he’s for real. You’ve seen too much to turn back now, but you just really, deeply wish that his church would have the same heart for those that nobody else wants. You’re just so tired of being on the outside looking in.

If this is you- I’ve got good news for you. Jesus doesn’t just accept outsiders as a concession or necessary part of his kingdom, he actively pursues them. I mentioned a few examples above, but God’s commitment to bringing the outsiders in goes further back than Jesus’ lifetime. Moses, you know the guy who led an entire nation out of slavery, was a fugitive living in the wilderness. Talk about an outsider. David, the eventual king of Israel and ancestor of Jesus, was the youngest son of a shepherding family from the backwater town of Bethlehem when God told the prophet that he would one day be king. Deborah, a woman, led the people of Israel during the time before the kings. 

God loves an underdog. He loves you. I’m deeply grieved that you’ve been treated like you don’t belong. I believe that he is too. I’m sorry that so many Christians have told you that you don’t belong. I believe that Jesus would turn over the tables in their lobby and get in their faces for treating you or anyone else like that. I believe that he wants better for them and he wants better for you. I also believe that there are Christians who will love and celebrate you, just as you are. We won’t treat you like an outsider and we won’t try to make you fit into an extra-biblical mold.

There is hope for the outsider. You’re not doing this wrong.